Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
