...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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