why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
