we're blogging at a bar
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
