Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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