Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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