Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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