Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
