it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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