JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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