This girl is more easily done than said...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
