didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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