I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
