Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
