The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
