awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
