he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
pray to the hookup gods
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
