It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
