Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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