I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
