This girl is more easily done than said...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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