i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
