1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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