She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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