Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
