just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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