All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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