return my video game
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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