Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
