Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Randomize
