last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize