if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need a burrito and a hug.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
