69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
