She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
