we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
