Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize