You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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