What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
