His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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