his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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