you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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