I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Still dying that you shit outside
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
