that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
