I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
