how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
