it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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