if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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