If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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