...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
as a side note pls kill me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
