Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
