I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
