U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
