And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
