He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want her autograph on my taint
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
