I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
