we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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