I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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