Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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