We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
