i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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