The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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