Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
