Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fuck appropriateness.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize