idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
