I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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