I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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