Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
