I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
