In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
