i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
