I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
