Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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